I will get back to a life where I’m functioning at optimal capacity only if I commit to improving at all times.
This means understanding that the road to healing may take months or years, but I cannot let that stop me from living my life. I just need to recalibrate, not give up.
Talking about self-care isn’t enough. I have to honestly ask myself whether I respect myself enough to actively engage in it. The stakes are too high now… I mean, they always were, but like every skill, self-respect is governed by the same rule– you use it or you lose it. I’m sorry, self, for getting so far away from you. I’m here now. I got your back… and your legs, and your chest, neck, face, inside and out.
This means I have to continue teaching. I’m not only going back for the rent money, no. I can’t leave this year showing my kids that pausing life is acceptable when challenges arise. No way. That’s life. Only way is through it.
But still with compassion. No one needs to rush me through my experience. Breaks are allowed. Planning ahead is mandatory. Responding to my body in the present moment and prioritizing that– no excuses.
This next week, my circumstances allow me to get sunshine (vitamin D and sweating/exercise is healing to my skin and mood), to reclaim my sanctuary from the mess it’s become, to eat well, to rest, and to occupy my time with positive thoughts.
The support organized by you, my tribe, has blown my mind. You’re trying your best to take care of me, and the deepest act of gratitude I can show you is to do everything I can to get better.
Then starting May 9th, I need to respect my morning and bedtime routines that will support me in staying present at school. I need to allot ample time to travel, prepare ice packs and pain relievers, figure out which school-appropriate clothes won’t damage my skin, lesson plan really well, communicate clearly to my kids what we need to do to level up, meditate a lot during the day, make sure there’s good food to eat at home, exercise and sweat. Remember to sweat! It will sting the skin so much at first, especially now that I’m not using moisturizers, but I need to do it.
When I’m not working, I need to make sure that I am finding my flow. I need to dedicate time to an art, activity, something, that’ll get me directly connected to life source. All business and no play dried me out like this in the first place.
I need to stay present enough to read my body at all times, and having fun is the way I want to stay present. And if I need help from anyone, I need to actually ask. 🙂
Every day is a new day. Regardless of what my energy levels or skin condition is tomorrow, I’ve already committed today that I’m going to evolve and not stay stuck. Slow and steady will win the race in this case.
from me to you 